When your child comes home upset about something that happened, it is natural to take their side straight away. Children are often right, but not always. Adults make mistakes, and so do children. Listening fairly protects your child and teaches them to see the whole picture.
Why children sometimes get it wrong
Young children may not have all the information. They might misunderstand a joke, miss what happened before they arrived or remember events in the wrong order. Strong feelings also colour what they remember. None of this means they are lying.
Listen first, then check
Let your child tell the whole story without interruption, and show that you take their feelings seriously. Then, before you act, find out more: ask what happened just before, who else was there, and, if needed, speak calmly with the teacher or other parent.
Ask questions that help them think
“What do you think he meant?” or “What did you do just before that?” helps your child look at the situation from another angle. This builds understanding without making them feel accused.
Respond to the feeling, then the facts
Even if your child was partly wrong, the hurt they feel is real. Acknowledge it first. Then talk about what they could do differently next time.
Make honesty safe
If admitting a mistake always leads to punishment, children learn to hide the truth. Thank them for being honest, and focus on fixing the problem.
Practise communication through play
Games that involve describing, asking and listening build these skills. The Puzzle of Emotions helps children name how they and others feel, and Profession Models are great for role-playing everyday situations.
Find more in Language & early Learning or the Smart Guide.